Why Choosing Your Spouse Is The Most Important Career Decision You Will Ever Make
What will you answer when someone asks you, “who do you think influences your decision the most in personal and professional life? With whom do you discuss and share all the small or big happenings of your life?”
In most cases the person would say that it’s their life partner. Research says that after some time of getting married a person starts behaving like his/her partner. You start picking up each other’s habits, attitude, skills, behaviour, thoughts, hobbies, etc. If your partner is optimistic and enthusiastic, you too start becoming like one and vice versa. Every relationship commands importance and respect, especially this one. If you value your marriage, you will respect and consider the opinion, suggestion and point of view of your partner.
“The most important decision many of you will make, not all of you, will be the spouse you choose, since you will move in the direction of the people that you associate with.” — Warren Buffet
A 2017 article in The Economist explores the declining trend of marriages in India: “As recently as 2005–06, 47% of Indian women in their early 20s were married before their 18th birthday. By 2015–16 the share had fallen to 27% — and just 18% in the cities.” The article also finds that the institution of traditional marriage in urban India is slowly eroding in Indian society, and is moving towards something that resembles Western marriage.
But what has caused this shift?
A commonly reported reason for women choosing to delay marriage is so that they can focus on obtaining higher education and reaching career objectives. This is not to say that these women have no interest in being married — many prefer to establish financial security before settling down with a partner.
Given this changing scenario, choosing the right life partner becomes even more important. Your life partner is the one with whom you will share your journey of life with. Your happiness, your sadness, the roads you will take, the person you will come out to be, your career — all take the same way that your this one decision takes. This one decision can truly make or break you!
It All Comes Down To Support
Having a supportive life partner becomes all the most important today is because the job market is more volatile today than ever before, mergers and acquisitions are rampant, job types change frequently, job switches occur frequently etc. You never know when your boss might change, your organization might experience a cultural drift, your projects might change, and you get laid off because of cost cutting, and so on. It might also happen at some point that you might think of switching your job, trying some management roles, changing career path or even pursuing higher studies. Amidst all these challenging and crucial milestones in your career trajectory, if you get a life partner who doesn’t support you and understands your career challenges, dreams, aspirations and priorities, your life partner will become an added burden instead of becoming a support system.
In last few months, I have taken some major career-related decisions. I added another website to my portfolio, and I also plan to go for further studies. These are big investments, both financially and on personal front, so I obviously talked to my husband about them. He was immediately and enthusiastically on board with both decisions, probably even more than I was.
I had to keep asking him, “Are you sure? There is a lot at stake” He responded and said, “Anything you have ever done, you’ve been successful. I would invest in you time and time again because you work so hard.”
In that moment, I realized that I made the best choice in my spouse. I didn’t plan it this way. I chose someone because he was kind and sweet. In my book, nice guys always finished first.
However, over the course of our 10-year relationship (including 2.5 years of marriage), my husband has proven time and time again that he’s willing to meet me more than halfway. Despite being in a stressful work environment and under a lot of pressure to do well, he jumps right in when he gets home, helps with the chores. He participates in our budget. Talking about our future investments, ideas for passive income, and fun business ideas are some of our favorite things to talk about.
My spouse, whether I realized it or not at the time, has been the best money decision of my life. Together, we’re far more successful than apart. Together, we’ve grown from two broke college students to two successful professionals, and we’re just getting started.
While choosing your life partner, don’t go by the looks, the success and the personality of them rather look beyond them onto their character. The strength of a relationship comes from the character and core values one brings into it, not from the personality of the person. In marriage, when we honour and celebrate each other, we’re freed up to be the best people we can be. Below are 4 most important things to consider before choosing a life partner.
1. Choose someone who respects you
It is difficult to lead your life with someone who disrespects you or downplays your ambitions in life. Be sure to select a partner who will respect all aspects of your life.
2. Willingness to invest in the relationship
A relationship is a two-way street. Each of you must be determined to make the relationship work. Select a person who allocates time for you and demonstrates concern for your needs.
3. Assess the intellectual level of your partner
If you are a high achiever and aggressive in pursuing your dreams, consider a person with the same attributes. Choosing a laid-back person could cause problems in your relationship.
4. Consider a life partner interested in your life decisions
A person willing to be in a long-term relationship with you will show genuine support for your ambitions and goals in life. Your potential life partner should be supportive of your plans to advance your career or pursue a worthy course.
